You’ve Got My Heart

July 27, 2009

Hold my hand boy and hold me close,

You’ve got my heart and everyone knows

That it wasn’t easy for you to get here

When you told me you love me I started to tear

Hold me close boy, just keep me near

Never leave for it’s something I fear

The past has been cruel but now we are here

It’s time to forget and be here with you

I love being yours, you love being mine

There’s not a day with you that I think isn’t fine

We have our scars, we’ve been brutally hurt

Betrayed and lost, just treated like dirt

When you hold me close the world disappears

It’s just me and you, in our own atmosphere

When you say ‘kiss me’ my heart just melts

In a long time, it’s happiness I’ve never felt

 

Hold my hand boy, hold me close

You’ve got my heart, it’s what we both know

Superficial me

I was never one who prided on the superficial. I never judged partners by it or friends whatsoever.

But I must admit, some perks do make things easier. And I’m not talking about just looks here.

I do however judge people by how they aren’t making any effort to make their lives better despite being given all the chances they have. Esther and I came to the conclusion that these people are just lazy. They complain about having to do the job they do or complain about the lack of money but yet they never do ANYTHING about it. I mean, the logic is just so odd. If you know the solution, fix it! If you don’t want to fix it, then don’t complain! Life isn’t gonna hand you sweets for complaining. You want the goodies, you work for em.

Fortunately, Ryan thinks that way too. He moved away from home when he was 17 because he couldn’t live with his stepdad. He worked job after job to get himself into art school. He graduated with an arts degree and then eventually got a teaching certificate. Sure, it isn’t glamorous like law, business or medicine. But this is what I respect: a person working to bring himself up despite the difficulties thrown at him. Ryan sustained himself entirely on his jobs, living outside. It’s not an easy thing to do and as such, I have the utmost respect for him.

Ryan works and has his own car. AND his own apartment. He’s so suave and just, knows what to do each time. Feeling down? He’ll whisk me away and distract me from everything here. Tired of being the strong one? He holds me and tells me to let it all out and that he is my pillar of support.

And what a pillar he is. . .my first ex was tall, but I must have forgotten just HOW tall.

This enables him lifting me -yes, lifting ME!- to just kiss me. lol.

We’ve hung out at his apartment before but he’s a perfect gentleman. The worry is that he’d take advantage of me or something. He’s huge -not fat huge but hulky- and I don’t think I’d be able to outwrestle him for anything! lol, not that I’ve tried but this is a conclusion based on mere observation. However, my gentle giant isn’t trying anything funny anytime soon. Hee.

It’s nice to be able to sit down with someone and do nothing but watch TV even. Yesterday we watched Chris Rock’s stand-up comedy show , Kill The Messenger and by gods, is he one of the most intelligent stand-up comedians of our century.

The man may be crude but he tells it as it is. He observes society, points it out for what it is, brings up the things everyone thinks about but never says and makes a joke about it.

Chris Rock, you da man!

And he was a poor man too. Who now owns a house worth millions in New Jersey. His neighbours are Jay Z, Mary J Blige and Eddie Murphy. The only black wealthy folk in da hood.

I was talking to Ryan about how white supremacists need to be all shot down. Thankfully, tho also white, Ryan’s open-minded to everything and is passionate about racial discrimination as well.

Ryan : I don’t get why asians think so greatly of white people. The truth is we all suck. Any race that came up with the atomic bomb needs to be eradicated.

Me : I agree with that. Well, maybe not eradicated but definitely not looked up to. Whatever for? And if you were eradicated, that’d just suck.

Ryan : Why, cuz there’d be no one to cook you dinner on Sunday nights like this?

Me : True. Your cooking beats La Bodega’s tapas any time =D

Ryan tried making kebabs for dinner. It was pretty good, I’ll have to admit. Of course, I got to help with, uh, serving dessert, lol.

Twas then that I realised I just love being hugged from the back <3

*

Yes, Ash is being mushy. But hey, I don’t like telling this to folk and I do wanna let it out somewhere. Otherwise the euphoria could just kill me. Also, I think I’m gonna be a bit more private about this relationship in an effort to not jinx it. I don’t want external pressure wearing down on it.

Today, after uni, he’s gonna come pick me up after work and we’re heading out to dinner again. There’s this awesome place he has yet to try and it serves the most awesome banana-leaf spread in the world. Ryan loves Malaysian food and is always wanting to check out some new place.

I always thought that if I were really seeing someone, I wouldn’t wanna meet said person every single day. But it’s just impossible to not want to be with him. He’s hilarious, whether relaying experiences about art school or just talking about anything really. I can have, intelligent conversation with him and he only gently inserts a flirt or two in between. Maybe this comes with dating a much older and mature man.

He is different. But he’s perfect. Sometimes I just wish I could lay in those arms forever.

Alright, Ash is going to snap out of this blissful daydream now and head back to the reality of life NOW.

: P