The Emo Blog

May 8, 2009

I’ve decided to use this blog for blogging about all the stuff folks don’t wanna read. My online diary of sorts. Stuff too personal gets locked away as private, only meant for my eyes and stuff I don’t mind sharing -because I don’t know who reads this stuff exactly- will go up here. Yes, all the sobby, emo, whining, ranty posts. If you hate it, go some place else ya buffoons.

You have been forewarned.

Well I guess the reason I need a private place to blog is because the other blog, The Tales of The Brown Woman is getting way too public now and almost everyone I know reads it.

“Never before, has someone been more,”

 

Today I felt too terrible to stay at uni. My eyes were puffy, everyone kept asking me what was wrong, I looked terrible. So I decided to give Archike’s lecture on liver function tests a miss -it was only 14 slides anyway- and head home. I just didn’t feel like meeting with people today. Music was calling to me,  my lower torso fell like it was about to fall off  and I was the most antisocial and inarticulate person today. I was rude to my friends, cold, ignoring folk and all that crap.

I was so uncool. 

And I guess the reason I’m feeling like this is because I realised things between me and Chris have really changed. They really have. We’re nothing more than friends now. At first, it was ok because I could still tell he really liked me. 

And now I can’t. 

Well I guess eventually things do change. And I guess the boy finally realised that coming through for me wasn’t gonna work out. He’s trying to get an online degree now. I sincerely hope that for his sake, this one kicks off and he does briliantly in this. No matter what turns out for him in life though, I’m always gonna hope that things work out for him. And I’ll always try and watch out for him, the best I can. With 14000 miles between us.

Yes, I’m still in love with him. But ah, love is for morons. 

Me included, I suppose. But looking at things now, I doubt I’ll be falling in love with anyone ever again. 

Anyway, yesterday was kinda bleak cuz I just couldn’t stop crying the moment I got home. Hence the puffy eyes. 

Also, exams are close so there’s tension closing in from all angles. And I have no one to lean on. Ah darn the loneliness!

Heart, we will get through this! Now stop bleeding, suck it up and beat I tell you, beat!