Mojo Jojo

April 26, 2008

 

Here I am once more, with Luthor on my lap. It’s dark, I’ve turned off all the lights, his keys feel ever so soft as my fingertips caress him lightly. He channels everything I say. Ah true love =

 

Alright, I best churn out semi-intelligent thoughts before my boyfriend swoops in on this illicit affair and tears us apart.

 

 Meeting people and observing how they’ve changed over a short span of less than a year can surprise you. Yes, I for one am very much surprised. For no reason, did a distant memory of me in my lowest of low times resurface as I was driving back from uni yesterday. Ah yes, this was the very thing I forgot to write about. You see, I was reflecting on my life last year and where and HOW I lived like for those past two years. Granted, I met a lot of nice people, people who helped me. But those two years were possibly the years I only want to look back to for lessons, so I don’t screw it up. Ever. Again. 

 

Maybe, I’ve become a whole lot more self-centred. But who’s to say, really? To someone else, I could seem selfish. And to myself, I say it’s reflection. And reflection is good if it makes you a better person. Which is what I ultimately work for.

 

The memory I came across was of me crying myself to sleep one day because I was upset over the issues that bugged me during those two years. Of how differently I thought and why people couldn’t understand me. I had friends who tried to help. But I couldn’t get their help because I didn’t think they actually got it.  Somehow, being different always frustrated me. No, I don’t claim to be different but I will admit that I find it very hard to find people on the same level of thinking as I am. And because of that, I end up giving way because I eventually realise that, it’s never gonna change.

 

I was talking to my one supporter during that time. I was so exhausted from being emotionally drained,  I fell asleep while we texted. And when I woke up, I saw 5-6 texts and an MMS. I remember reading those texts, feeling oddly comforted and not nearly alone. Then I saw the video and it really perked me up.  It was a video of me during my funniest and most random moments. There were clips of me hiding my face, staring murderously at the camera (itching to strangle the shooter of that clip) and moments when I was really shy because the cameraman was being an idiot. Yes, Ash gets shy, it IS possible. Now stop gaping and going ‘eww’, put it up on Ripleys if you can’t get that mandible back up where it belongs.

 

It started off with "You are. . .-insert video clips here-" and ended with ". . .the apple of my eye,"

 

It made me wonder. Could you really turn away from a person you love?

 

People move on. I certainly did. But some don’t.  It’s sad. Makes you feel somewhat guilty of doing so. I even poked fun at this person for it. Upon further reflection, I realised I shouldn’t have done that.

 

Sigh. I’m out of mojo again. I do think, I should close MSN for when I blog. I completely loose track of thoughts.

 

Till I get the mojo again. Or till much MORE intelligent thoughts invade my reverie.

 

 

 

 

Quote time!

 

"I don’t like conflict. . ."

~ Emperor Insanity, a loooong time ago when asked why he was so quiet even though I was angry and expecting a fight

 

 

 "I’m sorry Ash, I don’t swing that way. I like penises,"

 ~ E, while I was back in Penang, on my way out with an apparent hot date with another girl -_-

 

 

 "Fornicate till we die. . ."

 ~ Scandal Woman, over an alcohol-deprived MSN conversation, 25|4|08

 

 &

 

 "If Lord Krishna can fornicate, why can’t I??"

 ~Scandal Woman, 26|4|08, still on with the alcohol-soon2besex-deprived MSN conversation